Lifetime Lessons

Here's a lesson, loves. Cigarettes + vodka + brandy + cavorting in the rain is not a brilliant notion unless you have the ambition to have a partial blackout, throw up for hours, then gag in your mouth for another few hours.

Another lesson to be observed:
Store clerks will not sell you cigarettes if you don't have ID. Neither will they budge if you're reduced to lying or begging. Isn't it nice to know that our federal law is so rigidly in practice? It's enough to make any good American feel proud.