To Love or Not to Love. That is the Question.
B's confession got me thinking. Why don't I ever get a crush? I haven't liked anyone this year (except for Cherub, but that was more of a 'be my bitch' obsession). I don't believe in abstinence until marriage, I don't believe in true love, I don't believe in 'til death do us part', or in any of that stuff. What's wrong with me?
There's a kind of giddiness to love that I can't remember. Love's warm, comforting, fun, exciting... Love's what most people live for. Love's what poets (haha, bards) try to compose with words. I mean, Love is pretty goddamn important in one's life. Okay, taking it a step down, I'm too young to think about love. Let's just go back to crushes.
Once you get a crush, you can whisper to all your friends about him (or her). There's a freshness, and kind of hopefulness in the air that nothing else can compare to. You lay in bed, thinking about your crush, letting him occupy your thoughts like a good dream. You think about him constantly, tortured by the fact that you can't have him, and paranoid about every single girl he looks at.
Ah. I see why I swore off love in sixth grade, now.
Love is stupid. I mean, affection is just a waste of time. It's a masochistic act. Love is pleasure in pain. Who wants to feel pain? Pain = bad.
Oh God, I'm afraid of love. Jesus, this is so cliche. But, I think I have a point here. Love's definitely to fear because if that's love's not returned, you're just suffering. So you might as well not risk it and not fall in love....
Shit, I'm afraid of rejection as well. I'm afraid of love because I'm afraid of rejection. Wow, I'm like my own therapist.
Okay, so this is great. My final conclusion is this: I'm a coward, so I'm condemned to live as a loveless spinster for the rest of my life (but with lots of fuck buddies!).
Not too shabby.
Guess the Disney song!
The key to all heaven is mine
My heart has wings, Mmmmmm
And I can fly
I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
posted by Thy Queen at 9:28 PM
7 Comments:
Eh. Crushes aren't that great.
In fact, they aren't great in any way at all.
If I had it my way, I wouldn't have any. You are just strong-willed enough to give up crushes and love, and I'm not.
If this was Harry Potter, you'd be like Harry who can rid himself of the Cretawhatsitz Curse (the one that makes you do stuff, one of the three deadly curses, you know!), and I would be weak little Ron who still gives in.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with fuck-buddies.
10:06 PM
Or I could be Malfoy.
No, Malfoy's just to evil.
Perhaps I could be...
AHHH!!!
I don't know...There aren't any characters in HP that I could be, none are universal enough, they are way too stereotyped.
10:13 PM
Hahahaha.
I just called you Harry Potter.
Like Emo Harry.
HAHAHAHA.
10:13 PM
THE SONG IS PETER PAN!!!
...
Right?
10:14 PM
Wow, thanks, bud. I'm glad you think I'm strong willed. That's a very nice way to put it. And so what if I'm Emo Harry Potter? You're /Ronnikins/. :P
And no. It's not Peter Pan. Sowwy.
10:19 PM
Cowards, huh? Well, aren't we all. Interesting stuff though, that psycho-rant. :) Good to see people still wondering questions about love, in this day and age when supposedly no one should care about romantic babble.
I hope you don't mind my lurking around here. I hopped over from FictionPress (where I'm Lady E), and you're much too good of a writer for me to come close to resisting temptation.
11:01 AM
rejection fear my ass. you know you have a crush. and would so act on it. not saying you don't fear it. but they're some feelings there. i mean, may i introduce you to:
I TASTE LIKE VANILLA BOY???
yeah. go lick it.
ps: if you ever DO get the chance to lick it, tell me if it really tastes like vanilla/ his response. :)
pps: note to people reading this, we're not talking about licking THAT. kaythanksbye.
9:57 PM
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