Sausages and Women

I have decided that if I should ever marry and have children, I will never let my looks decline to that of my aunt. She's...what, in her early thirties? She never really lost the weight from her pregnancy (although she's dieting now) and she looks exhausted and messy from day to day. Her curly hair's always in a messy bun. She's always wearing unflattering, baggy clothes, and she's always running after the baby. It's just so unappealing. I mean, if I was my uncle, I totally wouldn't have sex with her. So, my decision is that my husband will NEVER see me (a) without any makeup, (b) fat, (c) unsexy in any way or form. If I have a kid and I'm still fat after childbirth, I'll just tell him I'm going away for two months so I can lose weight. I'm not going to let him see me run on the treadmill at home, sweating like a pig and with my fat jiggling everywhere.

In sort of relation to that: My cousin has finally won me over. His one and a half year old cuteness if just too much to resist. The weird thing is, even though I ignore him most of the time, he seems to really like me. He keeps calling, "Sister, sister!" all over the house with that sweet little voice of his (cousins are not cousins in China, but more of a sibling relationship). And although he's the meanest, most stingy kid I know, he always shares his toys with me. He'll just randomly walk up to me, hand me a car or something and I'll just look at it and be like, "Okay..."

P.S. You can have sex in my house any time you want. Just buy me new sheets afterwards.